6 Lessons that Changed How I Navigate Life Transitions (as a Transition Coach)
Major transitions shake more than just our routines—they shake our identity, emotions, and sense of direction. These six lessons didn’t come quickly or easily, but they reshaped how I approach change. If you’re in a season of upheaval, may they offer you insight, permission, and a path forward.
1. Avoiding the Pain Only Prolongs the Process
I used to think pushing through was strength. Just keep going, right? But the truth is, the longer I avoided feeling the hard stuff—grief, uncertainty, disorientation—the more stuck I became. When I finally paused and made space for those emotions, I moved through them faster, and with less emotional whiplash. Avoidance felt productive in the short term, but it quietly built up emotional debt. Processing stopped the cycle of recycling pain and helped me start reclaiming clarity.
What are you currently avoiding that might actually be the doorway to healing?
2. You Can’t Think Your Way Out of a Feeling
I tried to journal my way out of it. I tried to logic my way through the fog. But some things can’t be solved—they have to be felt, metabolized, and released. Processing is not the same as intellectualizing. Insight is valuable, yes, but integration is essential. I had to learn to let emotion move through me, not just analyze it.
Where in your life are you solving when you might actually need to feel?
3. Grief Shows Up in Disguises
Not all losses are obvious—but all losses need care. I didn’t realize I was grieving. I just thought I was tired, irritable, unmotivated. When I finally stopped to process, I could name what I’d lost—even the things I didn’t think I was “allowed” to miss. You can grieve a version of life you never got to live. You’re allowed to mourn even when others think you should be “over it.”
What invisible losses are you carrying that deserve a name and some tenderness?
4. Every Ending is Also an Identity Crisis
I wasn’t just saying goodbye to a chapter—I was saying goodbye to a version of myself. Processing helped me stop clinging to who I was supposed to be and start discovering who I was becoming. Identity is more fluid than I realized, and that’s not a threat—it’s an invitation. Letting go wasn’t easy, but it made space for something truer.
What parts of your identity feel outdated, but still familiar and safe?
5. Processing Isn’t Passive—It’s Powerful
For a long time, I thought sitting still was weakness. But I’ve learned: sitting with things isn’t doing nothing—it’s doing the hardest thing. When I gave myself time to reflect, feel, and integrate, I made better decisions, handled setbacks more calmly, and showed up more grounded. Transition work isn’t about wallowing—it’s about witnessing yourself fully. And that kind of self-honesty creates the momentum we’re usually chasing through constant activity.
What might change for you if you took time to process before you rushed to perform?
6. The Future Feels Different After You Make Peace With the Past
Unprocessed transitions steal energy from what’s next. When I finally laid the past down gently—rather than dragging it behind me—I had more energy, more hope, and more creativity for the future. Letting go didn’t erase what happened. It just loosened its grip on what comes next. I could finally build something new without recreating the old patterns.
What part of your past is still shaping your decisions more than it should?
If any of this hit home for you, you’re not alone. These aren’t just lessons—they’re invitations. To slow down. To feel deeply. To grow honestly. And to move forward in a way that honors what you’ve been through and who you’re becoming.
If you’re navigating a transition, I created The Hero in Transition suite for you. Check out the resources on this site.