Top 10 List: 10 Truths Every Returning Expat Needs to Hear

Coming home after living abroad can feel like a paradox: familiar surroundings, unfamiliar self. People assume it’s the easy part—but those of us who’ve been through it know better.

Whether you’ve been home for a week or a decade, these truths are ones I come back to again and again in my work with returning expats. Think of this list as a gentle companion for the road ahead.

1. Reverse culture shock is real—and it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

It’s not you. It’s a thing. And it’s okay to feel off-balance even when everything around you should feel normal. You’re not “overreacting.” You’re adjusting to a major identity and environmental shift.

2. You’ve changed more than you realize.

Living abroad reshapes your worldview, your habits, and your understanding of yourself. Sometimes it takes being home to see just how deep that transformation goes.

3. Not everyone will understand—and that’s okay.

You don’t need everyone to “get it.” Find one or two people who will listen without judgment and let that be enough. You may feel pressure to sum up your experience in a sentence or two. Resist that. Your life abroad wasn’t small—it shouldn’t have to fit into a cocktail party anecdote.

4. Grief is part of this. Even if it doesn’t look like it.

You’re grieving people, places, routines, roles, and a version of yourself. Don’t minimize it. Honor it. “Grief, when it comes, is nothing like we expect it to be.” — Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking

5. Your story is still unfolding.

Coming home isn’t the end of your story—it’s the start of a new chapter. What you’ve experienced abroad is now part of your DNA. The question is: how will you integrate it?

6. You are allowed to miss your old life and still be grateful for your current one.

It’s not either/or. It’s both/and. You can be homesick for one place while building a life in another.

7. You’re not behind—you’re rebuilding.

It might feel like you’re starting from scratch. But you’re not. You’re starting from experience, wisdom, and depth. That’s a powerful place to begin.

8. There is no “right way” to come home.

Some people jump back into life at full speed. Others need a year (or more) to figure it out. Both are valid. Go at your pace.

9. The gifts of your global experience are still with you.

You may feel disconnected from that version of yourself, but the perspective, grit, and empathy you gained abroad didn’t stay behind. They’re still yours. Use them.

10. You’re not alone.

There’s a quiet army of returned expats trying to reorient, rebuild, and reimagine life after abroad. You are part of that story—and there is community here for you. And if you haven’t found your people yet, I’d be honored to help you build that community through my coaching programs and online spaces.

Want to Keep Growing?

Here’s how I can support you right now:

• The Hero’s Return Coaching Cohort—a structured, supportive group experience to help you unpack your return and move forward with clarity.

• The Hero’s Return Quick Start Journal—a great DIY option if you’re not ready for coaching but want to start processing.

Coming home is complex. But you don’t have to do it alone—and you don’t have to leave your best self behind.

Reflection Question:

Which of these 10 truths feels most relevant to you right now—and how might it shape your next step?